I Was Married by Tegan and Sara Lyrics Meaning – Unveiling the Layers of Love and Defiance
Lyrics
Against the stone of buildings built before
You and I were born (start again, start again)
And to my heart confusion rose against
The muscles fought so long (fought so long)
To control against the pull of one
Magnet
To another magnet
To another magnet
Now we look up in (tell me who, tell me who)
Into the eyes of bullies breaking backs
They seem so very tough (it’s a lie, it’s a lie)
They seem so very scared of us
I look into the mirror (look into)
For evil that just does not exist
I don’t see what they see (tell them that, tell them that)
Try to control the pull of one
Magnet
To another magnet
To another magnet
To another magnet
To another
When ‘I Was Married’ first nestled into the ears of listeners, it seemed to carry the gentle weight of a love song wrapped in plaintive melodies. Tegan and Sara, the Canadian duo known for their intimate songwriting, managed to convey a profound message beneath the surface of a seemingly simple tune. With unassuming grace, they tapped into the universal and poignant themes of love, commitment, and the struggles that can accompany standing boldly in one’s truth.
The song is much more than a declaration of love; it is a battle cry for equality, a statement on society’s oppressive gaze, and a personal narrative that resonates with anyone who has felt the need to fight for their place in the world. Breaking down the lyrics of ‘I Was Married’ offers a deeper insight into the struggles against external pressures and internal uncertainties that can besiege even the most sacred of bonds.
A Vow Made in the Shadow of History
The opening lines immediately position the personal within the grand tapestry of history, against the ‘stone of buildings built before you and I were born’. This juxtaposition of the age-old institution of marriage and the couple’s contemporary love subtly challenges notions of permanence and change. Tegan and Sara convey that true commitment transcends time and societal constructs, carving out a space for their love that, though recent, bears an inherence as sturdy as the ancient buildings.
Metaphors of sun and stone evoke the contrast of warmth against hardness, suggesting a love that both shelters and endures. The repetition of ‘start again, start again’ is a haunting reminder of the resilience required to maintain a bond in the face of adversity, hinting at a cyclical struggle perhaps familiar to those who’ve had to perennially justify their love.
Magnetic Attraction Beyond Control
The chorus’s refrain uses the imagery of uncontrollable magnets to signify the natural, undeniable pull of their affections. Their love is described as a fundamental force, unbidden and strong, rivalling the day-to-day battles they endure. This metaphor also reveals the futility in resisting such a connection—a futile opposition they’ve likely encountered from others and perhaps within themselves.
Repeated throughout the song, this uncomplicated yet powerful image of magnetism serves as a gentle reminder that love, in its purest form, is both inevitable and inherently right, regardless of the voices that rally against it.
Facing the Gaze of Disapproval and Fear
Perhaps the most intense confrontation in ‘I Was Married’ is with ‘the eyes of bullies breaking backs’. The lyric exposes the scrutiny and critique from those who seek to diminish the validity of their union. Tegan and Sara confront a societal aggression, which often masquerades as strength, yet the song reveals this bravado as a mere guise for fear.
The duo’s retaliation is in their unapologetic visibility and in challenging the lies that dehumanize and vilify. The song speaks to a greater narrative of resistance against those who enforce conformity through intimidation and highlights the quiet defiance in simply being oneself.
Looking Inward and Denouncing Invented Evils
In ‘I don’t see what they see’, Tegan and Sara repudiate the imagined immoralities projected onto them. The ‘mirror’ serves as both a literal reflection and a metaphor for introspection. Their search reveals no inherent wickedness, only the phantoms of bigotry.
By asserting their inherent goodness and refuting the baseless villainy attributed to their identity, Tegan and Sara reaffirm not only the integrity of their love but also the intrinsic merit of every individual facing such distortions of character by society.
The Unvoiced Confession: A Hidden Meaning Discovered
Beyond the literal interpretation of marriage lies a hidden struggle with identity—specifically, the struggle of being in a same-sex relationship that society has not entirely accepted. Each ‘magnet’ can be seen as the irrefutable truth of their identity, an element that defines their existence, despite any attempt by outside forces to deny or manipulate it.
The hidden meaning within ‘I Was Married’ speaks volumes about standing steadfast amidst a world that often wishes to silence or erase such truths. It is a profound acknowledgment of the validity of all love, encapsulated in a song that resonates as both a personal anthem and a universal declaration of pride.





